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September 1, 2014 / Steven

How I stopped being awful and learned looking at hacked pictures is wrong

I feel like dirt.

I woke up around 3 pm and visited Reddit, as I usually do several times a day. On my front page I saw a link in the Jennifer Lawrence subreddit. I don’t remember what it said, but it was something involving nudity. “Yeah right,” I told myself, but clicked anyway and there she was. It was amazing, and it only took a little searching to find there was more! Christmas had come in August, it seemed. I spent most of the rest of the day reading up on what happened and downloading every picture I could find.

The rationalizations I found in myself were numerous and stupid. Nothing so idiotic as, “They shouldn’t have taken those if they didn’t want them to get out.” I saw that one several times on the horrible boards where the pictures were supposed to keep showing up. I tried my hardest not to read any of the text, which mostly consisted of racist and/or misogynistic comments, Praise for the “hero” who stole these pictures, and seemingly everyone calling everyone else “faggit”(Seriously, that’s how they spelled it.) What I told myself was, “The pictures are already out there, and I’m not posting or sharing them, what’s the harm? None of these women will ever know who I am.” Even though I told myself these things and kept right on downloading, there was something in the back of my mind that knew it was wrong.

This is where the story gets gross. It was late by the time I decided to open the folder of my ill gotten nudes and take matters into hand. Something was wrong. It was much harder to finish than it should have been looking at such beautiful women and shortly after I did, everything clicked into place. I love these women, I respect them and their work. These pictures were not taken for me. They were taken for their loved ones, or themselves, and I don’t want to be part of a society that rips away someones privacy like that. There’s nothing wrong with taking nude pictures for your own use, and you should be able to do it with a reasonable expectation of privacy.

I’m sorry I participated in that loss of privacy today. I’ve deleted all the pictures and all of the old ones I had from over the years, and I can honestly say, I’m never going to seek any out again.

I feel much better now.

July 14, 2013 / Steven

WWE Money in the Bank 2013 Predictions

I’ve been watching through old Raws, Smackdowns and Pay-Per-Views starting in spring of 1998, and I’m currently in the run up to Wrestlemania 2000. I find it interesting what I do and don’t remember from back then, and I didn’t get UPN, so I’m seeing the episodes of Smackdown for the first time. Watching today has got me in a wrestling mood, so I figured why not write some predictions for the Money in the Bank Pay-Per-View Sunday night. Here we go. This will be in the order I think the matches will go on, but i’m just guessing.


Pre-Show Match

WWE Tag Team Titles: Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns(Champions) vs The Usos

I’ve seen a lot of people saying The Shield’s momentum has slowed, but considering they’ve been feuding with main eventers since they debuted, I think that was inevitable. It would be nice if they weren’t on the Pre-show, but with two huge ladder matches, something had to give. Hopefully they can build up the tag division so The Shield has plenty of credible opponents. Usually they have the good guys win on the pre-show, but I’ll be shocked if Rollins and Reigns lose the belts here.

Winners: The Shield


World Heavyweight Title Money in the Bank: Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Jack Swagger

Let’s look at these one person at a time, elimination style.

Fandango: Too soon.

Jack Swagger: Recently got a few title shots.

Damien Sandow: I think his time is coming, but not yet.

Cody Rhodes: I think his time may have passed.

Dean Ambrose: I think The Shield is dominant enough without the briefcase. I see Ambrose as a multi time WWE/World Champion, but not yet.

Antonio Cesaro: He’s great in the ring, but I think his character needs a little work, before he’s ready for the big time.

Which leaves Wade Barrett: They certainly haven’t booked him very strong, but I’ve got a feeling it might be now or never for him.

Winner: Wade Barrett


Ryback vs. Chris Jericho

Pretty simple, Ryback needs a win, Jericho puts people over.

Winner: Ryback


WWE Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel(Champion) vs. The Miz

They don’t know what to do with The Miz right now, and Axel has only been champion for a short time, so this one is an easy call.

Winner: Curtis Axel


WWE Divas Championship: AJ Lee(Champion) vs. Kaitlyn

Their first match last month was really  good, and while I haven’t loved the build to this rematch, the intensity has me psyched. I really like Kaitlyn, but not as much as I like AJ.

Winner: AJ Lee


World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio(Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler

As much as I would love for Ziggler to get the belt back, I think they have different plans for him in the near future. So, I’m guessing somebody turns on Dolph and Del Rio retains.

Winner by DQ: Dolph Ziggler


WWE Title Money in the Bank: Daniel Bryan vs. Christian vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk vs. Sheamus

Originally Kane was in this match, but he was taken out by The Wyatt family on Raw, so if they add a replacement before the show, I’ll amend this prediction.

Christian: Recently returned from a long absence, and he’ll be feuding for a different title soon.

Rob Van Dam: Returning to the company for the first time in years, he’ll get a huge reaction, but I don’t expect they’ll put him in the title picture.

Randy Orton: After being pretty stale for a while, I think Orton has picked up his game recently, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he won. I just don’t think he will.

CM Punk: He’ll be facing Brock Lesnar at Summerslam, and he doesn’t need the briefcase to get a title shot at this point.

Sheamus: Similar to Orton, he’s been treading water lately. I don’t see him winning.

Which leaves Daniel Bryan: This guy is super over right now, and with a rumored title match at Summerslam, A win would fit.

Winner: Daniel Bryan


WWE Title: John Cena(Champion) vs. Mark Henry

I was at the Raw where this feud started, with Mark Henry faking his retirement, and I’ve enjoyed it so far. I think Cena is going to win, but I expect the match to be entertaining.

Winner: John Cena


I don’t think either Money in the Bank winner will cash in that night.


There we have it. I might be back Sunday night/Monday morning with my thoughts on the show.

January 25, 2013 / Steven

Top 10 Albums of 2012

A little late, but here is my top ten albums of 2012. I thought it was a pretty good year for music.

10 Slippery When Moist

10. Slippery When Moist, Garfunkel and Oates
Favorite Song: Handjob, Blandjob, I Don’t Understand Job

09 Not Your Kind of People

9. Not Your Kind of People, Garbage
Favorite Song: Automatic Systematic Habit

08 The Truth About Love

8. The Truth About Love, Pink
Favorite Song: True Love

07 Theatre is Evil

7. Theatre is Evil, Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra
Favorite Song: The Killing Type

06 Kiss

6. Kiss, Carly Rae Jepsen
Favorite Song: This Kiss

05 The 2nd Law

5. The 2nd Law, Muse
Favorite Song: Supremacy

04 The Idler Wheel...

4. The Idler Wheel…, Fiona Apple
Favorite Song: Every Single Night

03 What We Saw from the Cheap Seats

3. What We Saw from the Cheap Seats, Regina Spektor
Favorite Song: Don’t Leave Me (Ne me quitte pas)

02 Synthetica

2. Synthetica, Metric
Favorite Song: Youth without Youth

01 Red

1. Red, Taylor Swift
Favorite Song: I Knew You Were Trouble

January 23, 2013 / Steven

Top 10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2013

Of the following movies, all but two are sequels or reboots. I’m perfectly okay with this.



10. Kick-Ass 2

I’m a little worried that Matthew Vaughn isn’t back to direct, but everything I’ve seen so far is encouraging.


9. RED 2

I was really pleasantly surprised by the first RED, the cast was great and it had really good action. The trailer for this sequel makes me think we’re in for more of the same.


8. The Wolverine

X-Men Origins Wolverine was awful. This one looks good, i’m cautiously optimistic.


7. Pacific Rim

Guillermo del Toro. Robots fighting giant monsters. IN.


6. Man of Steel

I enjoyed Superman Returns, but Superman hasn’t gotten his due in the modern comic book movie era. Hopefully this will be it.


5. Thor: The Dark World

Chris Hemsworth Bitch. Also the rest of the cast is awesome, and more Asgard.


4. The World’s End

Edgar Wright. Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. That is all.


3. Iron Man 3

Shane Black is an awesome addition at Director, and I feel like they’ve got something really special. Also Downey can do no wrong.


2. Star Trek into Darkness

The first one is insanely re watchable to me, and it can only get more epic with the Cumberbatch involved.


1. Evil Dead

I was already excited about this one because I am a fan of the star Jane Levy from her show Suburgatory, but it shot to the top of this list when I saw the Red Band trailer. It looks so gory and awesome I can’t wait.

I’m pretty excited about 2013 as far as movies are concerned.

November 1, 2012 / Steven

Hallowatch 2012 Diary

I have decided to try and watch all 23 Treehouse of Horror episodes of the Simpsons and 4 horror movies to celebrate Halloween. There will be Spoilers. Let’s go!

6:30 am: I haven’t slept. I’ll try to make it through the whole day, but we’ll see.

6:35 am: Treehouse of Horror I (1990)

6:37 am: Haven’t seen this one in forever. Forgot that it actually took place in the Treehouse.

6:38 am: James Earl Jones!

6:40 am: Really creepy music in this first one.

6:42 am: Baby with a knife is always cute.

6:46 am: First appearance of Kang and Kodos!

6:47 am: “Come Earthlings, eat. Grow large with food!”

6:50 am: Space Dust!

6:52 am: James Earl Jones reading “The Raven” is awesome. I wish they had done more stuff like this.

6:57 am: Friday the 13th reference.

6:58 am: That was a little slow, but a lot of fun.

6:59 am: Treehouse of Horror II (1991) I remember watching this after trick or treating. I was 6.

7:00 am: I really miss the framing devices they used to do, this one has everyone having nightmares after eating too much candy.

7:04 am: Kang and Kodos take over Earth… for the first time.

7:08 am: I never saw the episode of The Twilight Zone this one was based on, but I did see the segment of The Twilight Zone: The Movie that remade it.

7:13 am: I love that the happy ending is Bart’s Nightmare.

7:15 am: Gravedigger Willie!

7:20 am: Mr. Burns being crushed by the robot is a great scene. On to number three!

7:22 am: Treehouse of Horror III (1992)

7:24 am: I enjoy Bart’s Clockwork Orange costume.

7:26 am: “The Frogurt is also cursed.” This one picks up substantially.

7:27 am: Early sign of Patty being gay. Mmmm Coffee.

7:31 am: Never seen the original King Kong, but it can’t possibly be better than this:

“Hey, I heard we’re goin’ to Ape Island.”

“Yeah, to capture a giant ape.”

“I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.”

“Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?”

“Apes. But they’re not so big.”

7:37 am: Zombies!

7:38 am: I wish my school library had an Occult section.

7:42 am: Kang and Kodos laughing maniacally.

7:46 am: Treehouse of Horror IV (1993) This one is in my top three I’ll mention the other two as we get to them..

7:49 am: “Mmmmm, Forbidden Doughnut.”

7:52 am: The Jury of the Damned!

7:54 am: Doughnut-head Homer is a great design.

7:56 am: Poor Hans Moleman and his exploding Gremlin.

7:57 am: Kang and Kodos with space Gremlin!

7:58 am: “Me Mule wouldn’t walk in the mud, so I had to put 17 bullets in him.”

8:00 am: Homer’s madness at the Dog’s playing poker is fantastic.

8:04 am: “Super Fun Happy Slide!”

8:07 am: Charlie Brown Christmas ending complete with Milhouse as Schroeder. Genius.

8:08 am: Treehouse of Horror V (1994) Another one of my top Three.

8:10 am: The Shining parody is one of the best segments ever.

8:13 am: “Mom, is Dad gonna kill us?”

“We’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

8:16 am: Nice running gag this year of Willie getting killed.

8:17 am: “Dad! Your hand is jammed in the Toaster!”

8:18 am: Alternate title: “Hot Toast Time Machine”

8:22 am: Very nice Dinosaurs

8:23 am: Kang and Kodos as Peabody and Sherman!

8:26 am: “Oh, Lunch Lady, please to have another Sloppy Jimbo!”

8:29 am: Willie meets his third and final end.

8:30 am: Inside out Song and Dance to end it.

8:31 am: First Break!

3:07 pm: The Cabin in the Woods (2012) I fell asleep. This is one of my favorite movies of the year, and this is my fifth time watching.

3:08 pm: I love Amy Acker.

3:12 pm: I love Chris Hemsworth

3:13 pm: “People in this town drive in a very unintuitive manner. That’s what I have to say.”

3:19 pm: Great score as they approach the Cabin.

3:27 pm: Speakerphone scene is great.

3:32 pm: the wolf scene… Damn!

3:34 pm: The basement full of relics.

3:39 pm: “Okay, I’m drawing a fucking line here, do not read the fucking latin!”

3:40 pm: Zombie Redneck Torture Family!

3:50 pm: First blood!

3:51 pm: Decapitation.

4:03 pm: “Now Kiko’s spirit will live in the happy frog!”

4:08 pm: Bye Thor.

4:11 pm: The party scene is pretty great

4:14 pm: Bong: 1, Zombies: 3

4:15 pm: “Yeah, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?”

4:17 pm: The Cubes! Business about to pick up.

4:20 pm: The pullout showing the cubes is such a great shot.

4:21 pm: “Good work, zombie arm.”

4:22 pm: Ripley in the house! over a speaker.

4:23 pm: System Purge!

4:26 pm: Dragonbat!

4:27 pm: Clown!

4:27 pm: Unicorn!

4:28 pm: MER-MAN!

4:30 pm: The chamber above the Ancient Ones.

4:31 pm: Ripley in the house! In person.

4:34 pm: Werewolf attack!

4:38 pm: the Giant Evil gods rise!

4:38 pm: The End. Fuck, I love that movie.

4:45 pm: Halloween (2007) I watched the original last year, so I’m switching it up. This movie gets a lot of shit, but I really like it. I like that it’s different from the original, a more human Michael Myers, scary in a different way.

4:54 pm: Malcolm McDowell as hippie Loomis. I like it.

4:56 pm: First (human) kill. Bullying doesn’t pay.

5:06 pm: I love the balls of Rob Zombie to make this. He takes like a half hour to do what the original did in five minutes. In the original you don’t see Michael is a little boy until after he kills his sister, but here you get to know how fucked up he is, before slicing her up. Fucking terrifying.

5:12 pm: Eleven months later. I also like that we don’t just jump to Michael as an adult. We see Loomis trying to help him.

5:15 pm: Break.

7:15 pm: Back and there is Danny Trejo!

7:17 pm: Here come the Masks

7:18 pm: This is fucked up stuff.

7:21 pm: Bitchy nurse gonna die.

7:23 pm: Fifteen years later. ignorant Hillbilly taunts the now giant Michael Myers, now played by Sabretooth 1, Tyler Mane.

7:26 pm: Dr. Loomis says goodbye. I like how they made Loomis kind of a selfish dick in the sequel. Makes sense, considering he fails to save Laurie later..

7:29 pm: Drunken hillbillies decide it’s a good idea to antagonize the giant crazy killer. One guess how that turns out.

7:31 pm: Skull cracks like coconut.

7:33 pm: Noooo! Old Danny Trejo was only a few months away from retirement!

7:35 pm: Rush! Hell yeah!

7:38 pm: He dons the suit!

7:39 pm: Almost an hour in, we get to the true remake part. I like Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie. Partly because I really like the name Scout for some reason.

7:41 pm: This Tommy reminds me of Anakin Skywalker in Episode I. Not a good thing.

7:42 pm: The classic mask appears, along with the classic score. Now he’s Michael Fuckin’ Myers.

7:44 pm: Danielle Harris, who was Jamie in Halloween 4, and 5, appears as Annie, Sheriff Brackett’s Daughter. She was almost 30 when they shot this, but I buy her as a movie high schooler.

7:46 pm: Clint Howard and Udo Kier!

7:54 pm: The Graveyard! With Sid Haig! And a crucified critter.

7:57 pm: Bob and Linda slutting it up.

7:59 pm: Don’t Fear the Reaper!

8:00 pm: Bob is stabbed to the wall.

8:01 pm: Michael sure hates naked chicks.

8:03 pm: Loomis buys a gun from a stereotype.

8:04 pm: Poor innocent Strodes. They take in a little baby orphan and get murdered for it.

8:07 pm: This little girl is annoying too. Stupid kids.

8:09 pm: Loomis tries to warn the Sheriff, who doesn’t listen, and teenage are sluttier in 2007 than they were in 1978. Neither point is surprising.

8:12 pm: Sheriff Brackett looks like an older version of Sabretooth 2, Liev Schreiber.

8:16 pm: Annie getting out the door, then yanked back in the house is so creepy.

8:17 pm: Unfortunately this is only the first of two times Annie gets attacked by Michael.

8:21 pm: Michael vs. Laurie round one: Laurie escapes.

8:23 pm: Knife: 2, cops: 0.

8:24 pm: Michael vs. Laurie round two: Laurie is taken. Too bad she was adopted by that idiot instead of Liam Neeson.

8:26 pm: Laurie is home. She doesn’t appear to like it.

8:27 pm: Awww, Michael just wants his sister back.

8:29 pm: oooh, Laurie stabs Michael. The chase is on.

8:34 pm: Ouch, Laurie falls in an empty pool.

8:35 pm: Loomis shows up, shoots Michael. A bunch.

8:38 pm: Loomis gets his head compressed, quite painfully.

8:41 pm: Michael is back on the hunt.

8:42 pm: Laurie’s got a gun.

8:45 pm: Laurie falls through a ceiling. Then Michael shoves her off a balcony. She is really getting the crap kicked out of her.

8:47 pm: Laurie shoots Michael in the face! Screams her head off, credits. Love that ending.

9:00 pm: I got lazy and decided to watch the audio commentary on Halloween. Very Entertaining.

Well, I’ve failed. It is now November, and I only got through 5 Treehouses and 2 Movies. Maybe I will try again next year. Sleep time.

May 19, 2012 / Steven

Community Creator Dan Harmon Replaced as showrunner


Sony, the studio that produces Community, has replaced the show’s creator/Showrunner Dan Harmon with David Guarascio and Moses Port who previously worked on Just Shoot Me, Aliens in America and Happy Endings. I’m sure these guys are good writers, but that isn’t the issue. The show airs on NBC, but is made by Sony Pictures Television, who understandably want the show to exist for as long as possible. The ratings have never been good, and the show is unlikely to get more than the 13 episodes it has been picked up for in the fall. Community has a small, but very passionate fan base, and I fear Sony’s desire for more viewers will end up alienating the people who have supported the show for three seasons.

Dan Harmon is a very unique voice in television, and Community is a very, very weird show. It would be extremely unlikely for someone else to come in and retain the same sensibility, but not impossible. The problem is I don’t think that’s what Sony wants. I think Sony replaced Harmon because he wanted to make the show he wanted to make, and didn’t care about making the show more appealing to the average viewer. I feel bad for Guarascio and Port, as I assume they will be put in a position by the studio to make certain changes they may or may not think are a good idea. Harmon is reportedly staying on as a Consulting Producer. I have no idea what that means, in terms of day-to-day involvement, but it doesn’t sound good. There is also the fact that many of the writers have left for deals with other studios.

Community is my favorite show, and has been since shortly after it premiered. If my fears are confirmed, and it isn’t the same show, I will be happy that we got 71 episodes of this weird, hilarious tale of outcasts becoming a family. I hope i’m wrong. I hope the show is as good as ever, and lasts for several more years.


April 3, 2012 / Steven

April 3rd – Life Continues.

Looking at where I’m at with various forms of media


I’ve been trying to read more books lately. It might be time to unplug from the internet for a little while again. Right now i’m trying to read Darth Plagueis. I’m about forty percent in, and It’s pretty good. It seems to be just as much about Palpatine(Senator/Supreme Chancellor/Sith Lord/Opera Enthusiast) though. When I finish that I think i’ll try starting A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin, since i’m loving Game of Thrones on HBO, and want desperately to know what happens without just looking at spoilers. Waiting impatiently for Tough Shit by Kevin Smith, which is out, but I haven’t bought yet.


WrestleMania XXVIII just happened the other night, and was FREAKING AWESOME. I think WWE is better right now than its been in several years, but who knows if it will last. Hopefully the return of Brock Lesnar is handled well. Waiting impatiently for the rematch between CM Punk and Chris Jericho.


I enjoyed the Hunger Games Soundtrack, and the new All-American Rejects album. Been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift and The Band Perry. Waiting impatiently for new Regina Spektor, Michelle Branch and Metric albums.


Absolutely loved Goon, starring Seann William Scott, Liev Schreiber and Alison Pill(Kim Pine!). Violent, Funny and touching. Watch it or fail. Also really enjoyed Hunger Games, more than the book in fact. Waiting impatiently for Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers.


Currently loving Community, Happy Endings, Cougar Town, Raising Hope, Regular Show, Adventure Time, 30 Rock, New Girl, South Park, Bob’s Burgers, Fringe, Person of Interest, and my three favorites right now:

3. Justified, which is finishing up an amazing third season.

2. Game of Thrones, which is just beginning what looks to be an awesome second season.

1. Mad Men, which is finally back for its fifth season after about eighteen months. I missed it so much. I feel like it’s just on a completely different level than anything else on TV.

Waiting impatiently for The return of Parks and Rec in a couple weeks The Newsroom from Aaron Sorkin on HBO in June. So excited for a new Sorkin show. Loved Sports Night, and Studio 60, and this has Alison Pill too!


December 16, 2011 / Steven

Story Time

It’s a little more than a week until Christmas, and I think December is going pretty well. I’m finally getting caught up on TV, and I started reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo so hopefully I can finish it before the movie opens next week. I really want to do my end of year lists, but I haven’t taken in enough data yet, Movies specifically. I don’t have anything particular to write about right now, but I wanted to listen to some music and need something to do besides stare at the monitor. Hmmm How about a story?

Patrick Klemmons was an average looking man of 32. He graduated from the University of Southern California at 23 and got a job at a very successful Cracker factory.  He was made an Executive at 30 for his calm demeanor, and reasonable ideas in the midst of an unprecedented salt shortage that had everyone in the company panicking. In the summer of 2010 Patrick met Kara Pennyworth at an electronics store when both were reaching for the last copy of The Essential Daryl Hall & John Oates. He backed off and she thanked him for the kind gesture, and asked if he would like to go to dinner sometime. He agreed with no hesitation, and began to download the album on his phone as they parted company(saved five dollars BTW). They met at a local Italian restaurant the following Tuesday, and had a splendid time. Unfortunately on their second date it was discovered that Kara Pennyworth was actually Patrick’s nemesis Cornelius Desmond Bellini in a brilliant disguise. Patrick fell into a deep depression after losing the woman of his dreams, and Bellini made off with his wallet. As fate would have it, Patrick hit it off with the women he spoke with while canceling his credit cards. They began a whirlwind courtship and after five wonderful months Patrick proposed to Jane Francis at their favorite coffee bar downtown. They were married two months later at the town church, though the reception was almost ruined when Bellini, whom Jane had insisted be invited, made off with no less than 60% of the wedding cake. Ten years later Patrick was Vice President of the cracker company and Jane was home raising their four boys: Daryl(8), Hall(6), John(4) and little Oates(2).  They had not heard form Cornelius Desmond Bellini since the wedding, and he was now ready to execute his most cunning plan yet. Unfortunately the Lion suffocated on the way from the post office to Patrick’s office , and was quite incapable of ripping out his jugular as Bellini intended. Also, he was arrested for poaching and sentenced to four years in prison, where he was shanked to death by a fellow inmate for his continuous mustache-twirling. The Klemmons family celebrated Bellini’s end with a picnic on his grave.

The End.

That was fun. See you in 2012.

November 13, 2011 / Steven

Top 10 Saturday Morning Cartoons

I was listening to Paul Dini and his wife Misty Lee‘s Podcast Radio Rashy today, and they had Mark Evanier as guest. Mr. Evanier was talking about the creation of Garfield and Friends, which he was a writer on. This lead me to Wikipedia, which led me to other Saturday Morning Shows of my youth. I didn’t have 20 channels of just Kid Shows. I had before and after school, and the paradise of Saturday Mornings, at least from my birth until we got cable in the mid 90’s. So here is a list of my favorites.

Top 10 Saturday Morning Cartoons

Honorable Mentions
C Bear and Jamal – Fox 1996-1997

A 9-year old boy named Jamal has a Hip Hop Teddy Bear voiced by Tone Loc. ‘Nuff Said.

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue – 1990

It was a special, not a series, but it deserves a mention because it always comes to mind when I think about Saturday morning cartoons. It was a crossover containing characters from The Smurfs, Alf: The Animated Series, Garfield and Friends, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Winnie the Pooh, Muppet Babies, Real Ghostbusters, Looney Tunes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Ducktales. All these characters came together to help a young girl get her brother Michael to stop using drugs. I was never offered drugs, but I would like to think I would have said no because of this show. It’s worth watching just for the scene of Winnie the Pooh being thrown into a cabinet by a Smoky character(named Smoke), who is trying to convince the little girl her brother will be her friend again if she does drugs too.

10. Bobby’s World FOX 1990-1998

The adventures of 4-year old Bobby Generic and his family, created by and starring Howie Mandel. I don’t remember specific episodes, but it was really funny.

9. Alvin and the Chipmunks NBC 1983-1990

Like a lot of children I loved high voiced rodent covers of popular music. Unlike most adults, I still enjoy the Chipmunks music. I don’t remember if I ever watched this show on Saturday mornings or not but I’m going to count it. My favorite episode first aired before I was born. It was “The C-Team” where Dave’s Antique Pocket watch is stolen by bullies, and Mr. T helps the Chipmunks get it back.

8. A Pup Named Scooby-Doo ABC 1988-1991

Part of the babyfication trend of taking a franchise and making the characters younger, in this case Junior high age. I love that the other characters are at least a little different from their adult versions, but Shaggy and Scooby are exactly the same. Also the character Red Herring and Freddie’s constantly accusing him were always amusing.

7. The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh ABC 1988-1991

I think of Winnie the Pooh as a more innocent, far less anger prone, bear version of Homer Simpson. Just good fun stories featuring great woodland critters.

6. X-Men FOX 1992-1997

My first exposure to the X-Men. I love that they used the Jim Lee costumes, and adapted classic storylines. I remember when they had Cups and VHS tapes for it at Pizza Hut.

5. Beetlejuice ABC 1989-1992

I loved this show, because it had so much weird awesome visuals. The movie Beetlejuice is awesome, but I liked the cartoon Beetlejuice being friends with Lydia, instead of just trying to bang her.

4. Jim Henson’s Muppet Babies CBS 1984-1991

Another babyfication show, Inspired by a fantasy sequence in The Muppets Take Manhattan, the show featured the Muppets as babies in a nursery watched over by the striped socks wearing “Nanny”. The show featured parodies of and footage from many movies I would not see for several years. Muppets make everything better.


3. Freakazoid! WB 1995-1997

I would say Freakazoid! was the funniest show on this list, and has an awesome pedigree, being created by Steven Spielberg and Bruce Timm and Paul Dini from Batman the Animated Series. So many awesome characters, and it had Ed Asner. Shoutout to Candle Jack, The Lobe, Foamy the Freakadog, and The Lawn Gnomes.


2. Garfield and Friends CBS 1988-1994

My dad is a Garfield fan so I imagine that influenced me, and The Garfield and Friends fruit snacks were delici-awesome, but I think the show was just really funny. Garfield is definitely my kind of character, and the annoyance he had with Binky the Clown and The Buddy Bears was always entertaining. The U.S. Acres part was good too.

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles CBS 1987-1996

It pretty much defined my childhood, and has to be number 1. I have a lot of it on DVD and it holds up pretty well, in my opinion. It was quite different from the comics, but I think that was probably the right way to go. Plus, it got the movie made, which was more like the comic. Michaelangelo was my favorite, but now it would be Raphael. Interesting note: Shredder was voiced by Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

This was fun.

September 29, 2011 / Steven

Red Sox Breakup Letter

It's Broken! Like A Heart. Get it?

Sigh… wow this isn’t going to be easy. It’s not you, It’s me. Tonight will go down as possibly the best end to an MLB regular season ever. In less than ten minutes you blew the lead, and the game, and Tampa Bay beat the Yankees with a walk-off Home Run. I just can’t do it anymore. I hate the AL East so much. I’ve always felt kind of out-of-place as a Red Sox fan. After all, 2004 was only my second season as a fan. All I heard were these incredible stories of old men, lifelong fans who had finally seen a championship right before death. It made me feel like a jerk. What we had was amazing, some of the best moments of my life, but that’s in the past, and I haven’t felt that spark in a long time. 2004 and 2007 were amazing, and I’ll always treasure those seasons, but it’s time for us both to move on. I have to be honest, there is another team, and I’ve been cheating with them for most of the 2011 season. I’m sure I’ll be called a bandwagon fan, the same as I was when I began my relationship with you. I just don’t care what others think, I know what’s in my heart. I think I’ve known it was over for a while now. For the past few months all I’ve been saying is it wouldn’t matter if you made the playoffs. That there was no chance you could win a series. That’s not how a fan should think. I want to be clear, this is not about losing, and missing the playoffs. The point is I had no confidence in you, then I realized it was because you weren’t my team anymore. I know you’ll do just fine without me.

Goodbye, and good luck.


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